Baby L #2 - Week 7

Skin clearing up, baby acne almost all gone, a little bit of cradle cap. More awake time during the day. Sleeping 5-6 hrs at night.

Baby L #2 - Week 6

Visit Palm Springs. Some NB clothes are not fitting anymore

Baby L #2 - Week 5

Time w/grandmas. More outings. Still baby acne.

Baby L # 2 - Week 4

Grandma and great grandma in town. Sleeping 4-5 hrs at night =)

And Antonella...

Baby # 2 - Week 3

Grandpa in town, baby acne, lost umbilical cord.

Baby # 2 - Week 2

Hospital visit, no fun. Spinal tap

Baby L # 2 - Week 1

Emiliana - Week #1 

The first week with Emi was amazing. Most of the time it was just the 4 of us and Antonella had a chance to really meet her sister and talk to her and kiss her and scare her.

We only stayed in the hospital for 24 hours so most of the week was spent at home enjoying being a family of 4. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

My belly progression

Here is my belly progression. I didn't get to finish Emiliana's letter before I had so I wrote it a few days after she was born and then finished it a couple days later. I love seeing my belly grow as Antonella grew and changed. Time is one incredible thing.

Emiliana, my love! When I found out I was pregnant with you I felt love, an indescribable sense of absolute, immense love. It was just so different and new for me.

I had always heard that with second children parents worry during pregnancy about being able to love that second kid as much as they love the first, fears that are dissipated by the arrival of an amazing second baby. But that wasn't the case for me, when I found out I was pregnant with your sister Antonella I wasn't sure about children, I had never really been around all that many of them so I wasn't sure I was "built" to be a mom, and beyond that, to be a good one. When she was born I was surprised by how much I loved her and how that love was unlike anything I had ever felt. It was impetuous and fierce, I laid staring at her with your dad by my side, and I started drowning in this new feeling, knowing we belonged to each other and all was going to be perfect.

And then I spent 9 months with her, my heart no longer belonged to me, day after day I found myself submerged deeper and deeper in this new feeling, and willingly I succumbed to the overpowering strength of my love for her. When I found out I was going to be a mom of 2, I already knew I could love the way only parents know how to, with incommensurable passion and desperate fervor. And I loved you in my belly, and I knew I wouldn't be surprised once I met you.

Boy was I wrong! I was the first person you ever touched, and as my hand met your head I was engulfed by a new kind of love I had never felt before. Once again I was taken aback by motherhood and as your chest laid on my chest I loved you uniquely. You fit so perfectly, you belonged so wonderfully, I couldn't believe we had lived without you.

Emiliana, I am so humbled God would entrust me with you, you are a precious gift and I just pray God grants your Poppa and I the wisdom to treat you as such all the days of your life.

Baby L # 2 - Week 42

Baby L #2 - Week 42

Weight - +31 lb 
Inches - 14.5 inches 
Like -  Lemonade, lemonade, lemonade. I can't have enough
Dislike - Coughing

We patiently waited and waited and waited and waited and Emiliana never came. At our last doctor's appointment we were told Friday at 9am Emiliana would be induced. So I hope she would come before that and as the days got closer and closer to Friday I realized I was so scared to get induced. What does being induced even mean? how does it look like? will it make the contractions worse? crazier? easier? 

On Thursday night I texted a few of the ladies I always text when I need prayer and I asked them to pray (all of this while laying on the floor because my back hurt, crying because I was scared). And within minutes I felt peace, I just suddenly knew it would all be fine. Caleb came home, prayed with me and then took Antonella to give me some time by myself and I sat in Emiliana's living room dreaming about the insane reality that it was the last night of my life with just one daughter. 

Caleb got home, we did all the things we do before we put Ant to bed and then we talked to her for a while about what was going to happen the next morning, and she talked her beautiful gibberish back and then started dancing to the music we had in the background. For the last night in Antonella's life she was going to be an only child. 

Most nights in life are pretty uneventful, but  the night of Thursday, February 27 was beautiful. God moved me from fear to absolute rejoicing and excited expectation within minutes and I went to bed knowing Emiliana was more His than she will ever be mine, and my life was about to be more colorful and beautiful by her arrival. 

To the big sister

Today there was a lot of crying in my house. Pregnancy hormones just ran rampant and tears came and went. 

After I put Antonella down for a nap and instructed her not to get out of bed because she was a big girl now, I realized indeed she had to be. Today was the last day in her life I was going to put her in her new exciting toddler bed as an only child. She will never again be the only Luehmann girl, and I cried. I cried because my baby is growing and I seem to miss most of it, and I cried because she's about to receive the most amazing gift one could be given, a best friend for life. 

I wrote to Antonella right before she was born here, and I will do a belly progression for Emiliana and share what I wrote to her. But I thought I needed to write to my first born today. 

Nothing could have prepared me for the last 18 months, no book, no movie, no story. Nobody could have ever explained the type of love I was going to feel for you. Everyday I seem to fall in love with you more and more, and unaware you do new things that make me realize you own such an enormous part of my heart, you can wreck it with just a smile. 

For 18 months I've looked down at you while you sleep and I've prayed for you. I've prayed for wisdom, I've prayed for a unique sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, I've prayed for you to see yourself through the Lord's eyes and not your own, I've prayed for a life full of adventures guided by His hand. And over and over and over again, my prayers turn to thanksgiving. I see your father standing next to me praying just as fervently for you and me, then I look back at you and every time without fail I tell God: THANK YOU! I don't deserve this but thank you! 

So my daughter; crazy, curious, rambunctious, wild daughter; I have enjoyed every second of us 3 being a family. I have loved getting to know you and learning everything about you. It has been an honor to parent you alongside Papa. And I cannot wait to see you as a big sister, I have no doubt you will be the most fun, most encouraging, most supportive, most incredible big sister. 

Antonella from now on it is 4 of us, you have to teach Emiliana our ways, you must show her all of our dance moves, secret bird calls, and weird words. You get to introduce her to papa's amazing grilled cheese sandwiches, and momma's ok food. From tomorrow on you will have in Emiliana the most incredible ally, the best of friends, and the most fun of partners. You will never have to feel alone because you will have a sister that will stand with you always, she will be able to read your mind, and know everything about you. You two will make everyone wish they had what you will have, and together you will take over the world and do all the Lord has sent to you do. 

I love you, momma.