Thursday, February 27, 2014

Posted by Joanna Luehmann | File under : , , , , ,
Today there was a lot of crying in my house. Pregnancy hormones just ran rampant and tears came and went. 

After I put Antonella down for a nap and instructed her not to get out of bed because she was a big girl now, I realized indeed she had to be. Today was the last day in her life I was going to put her in her new exciting toddler bed as an only child. She will never again be the only Luehmann girl, and I cried. I cried because my baby is growing and I seem to miss most of it, and I cried because she's about to receive the most amazing gift one could be given, a best friend for life. 

I wrote to Antonella right before she was born here, and I will do a belly progression for Emiliana and share what I wrote to her. But I thought I needed to write to my first born today. 

Nothing could have prepared me for the last 18 months, no book, no movie, no story. Nobody could have ever explained the type of love I was going to feel for you. Everyday I seem to fall in love with you more and more, and unaware you do new things that make me realize you own such an enormous part of my heart, you can wreck it with just a smile. 

For 18 months I've looked down at you while you sleep and I've prayed for you. I've prayed for wisdom, I've prayed for a unique sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, I've prayed for you to see yourself through the Lord's eyes and not your own, I've prayed for a life full of adventures guided by His hand. And over and over and over again, my prayers turn to thanksgiving. I see your father standing next to me praying just as fervently for you and me, then I look back at you and every time without fail I tell God: THANK YOU! I don't deserve this but thank you! 

So my daughter; crazy, curious, rambunctious, wild daughter; I have enjoyed every second of us 3 being a family. I have loved getting to know you and learning everything about you. It has been an honor to parent you alongside Papa. And I cannot wait to see you as a big sister, I have no doubt you will be the most fun, most encouraging, most supportive, most incredible big sister. 

Antonella from now on it is 4 of us, you have to teach Emiliana our ways, you must show her all of our dance moves, secret bird calls, and weird words. You get to introduce her to papa's amazing grilled cheese sandwiches, and momma's ok food. From tomorrow on you will have in Emiliana the most incredible ally, the best of friends, and the most fun of partners. You will never have to feel alone because you will have a sister that will stand with you always, she will be able to read your mind, and know everything about you. You two will make everyone wish they had what you will have, and together you will take over the world and do all the Lord has sent to you do. 

I love you, momma. 

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