Saturday, March 8, 2014

Posted by Joanna Luehmann | File under : ,
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Here is my belly progression. I didn't get to finish Emiliana's letter before I had so I wrote it a few days after she was born and then finished it a couple days later. I love seeing my belly grow as Antonella grew and changed. Time is one incredible thing.

Emiliana, my love! When I found out I was pregnant with you I felt love, an indescribable sense of absolute, immense love. It was just so different and new for me.

I had always heard that with second children parents worry during pregnancy about being able to love that second kid as much as they love the first, fears that are dissipated by the arrival of an amazing second baby. But that wasn't the case for me, when I found out I was pregnant with your sister Antonella I wasn't sure about children, I had never really been around all that many of them so I wasn't sure I was "built" to be a mom, and beyond that, to be a good one. When she was born I was surprised by how much I loved her and how that love was unlike anything I had ever felt. It was impetuous and fierce, I laid staring at her with your dad by my side, and I started drowning in this new feeling, knowing we belonged to each other and all was going to be perfect.

And then I spent 9 months with her, my heart no longer belonged to me, day after day I found myself submerged deeper and deeper in this new feeling, and willingly I succumbed to the overpowering strength of my love for her. When I found out I was going to be a mom of 2, I already knew I could love the way only parents know how to, with incommensurable passion and desperate fervor. And I loved you in my belly, and I knew I wouldn't be surprised once I met you.

Boy was I wrong! I was the first person you ever touched, and as my hand met your head I was engulfed by a new kind of love I had never felt before. Once again I was taken aback by motherhood and as your chest laid on my chest I loved you uniquely. You fit so perfectly, you belonged so wonderfully, I couldn't believe we had lived without you.

Emiliana, I am so humbled God would entrust me with you, you are a precious gift and I just pray God grants your Poppa and I the wisdom to treat you as such all the days of your life.

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