Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Posted by Joanna Luehmann | File under :
My hubby and started a 30-day challenge today. Nope it has nothing to do with our plan to lose weight, instead it has to do with our marriage.

A couple of Mondays ago K and I were in LA and we got in an argument where he said I don't really listen to him and sometimes I don't even remember the things I've said. We talked it over, got frustrated, threw fits, stomped our feet (ok I am the only one that does that), apologized to each other, kissed and made up.

A few hours went by and we were in the car listening to music and singing. A song I have never heard came on and I started making up the lyrics, I wasn't really paying attention to what I was saying and suddenly K said "I love you." I looked at him and asked him where that came from.

-Honey, you just told me to tell you I love you.
-I did? in my song

-Yeah, see you don't remember the things you tell me
-It's different love, I wasn't paying attention I was just making up lyrics
-Just thought it was interesting you didn't remember
-Ok whatever, you are mean sometimes

And just like that I was frustrated all over again! It was a rough day for the Luehmann's alright, we just weren't getting along.

We argue every now and then, sometimes we focus on what the other is not doing, hasn't done, or is annoying and we forget that there are so many other things the other is doing, has done and is amazing.

And then Tuesday night we watched Why did I get married? a movie by Tyler Perry and they mentioned the 80/20 rule. In most cases, in marriage you get 80% of what you want, but since you are not getting the other 20% you focus on that instead of encouraging more of the 80%.

That happens in my marriage, that Monday we argued and got frustrated, we both were so focused on that 20% we completely forgot about the other 80%. So I remember I had read this 30-day challenge on The Marry Blogger, told K about it and we decided to try it out.

For the next 30 days we will make an effort to comment only on the 80%, comment only on the positive things each other does and has. We will build each other up and we will encourage one another. We want that to become our habit, we want to be able to focus more on the positive than the negative. Neither one of us is perfect but we are perfect together.

K stepped it up when he got me a pedicure gift card as his first way to encourage me, I thanked him the way a wife should and so far our challenge is going great, we'll keep you posted!

(The late summer heat in San Diego is making my feet so swollen and weird looking haha gotta love it)

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